We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
