Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
