I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
