your room smells of hookers.
And success
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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