it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
