Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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