I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
