why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
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