Got a toothbrush?
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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