Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Your penis caused this!
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