nut hugger
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Terrible idea I love it
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
