id be glad to
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
He told me they were just razor bumps!
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
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