my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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