she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
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