so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize