would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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