we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
