All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
