You're completely useless in the revolution.
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
