I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
