we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize