Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
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