carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
