Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
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