Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
