I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
