He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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