RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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