How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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