you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
