it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
