i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize