So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
