I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
