I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
