....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
