so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
