So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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