I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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