i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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