sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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