So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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