I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
