The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
