so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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