I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
