bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
