I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
