a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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