i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
