Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
