I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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