Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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