I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Randomize
