she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Randomize
