He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
