I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
