Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
