do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
there is another microwave in the elevator.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
