im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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