so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize